


Talk

by auselysium



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auselysium/pseuds/auselysium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Chrissie reveals the truth about Robert's relationship with Aaron in dramatic and public fashion, Robert finally gets the chance to talk to someone about his true feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Written for victoriasugdens on tumblr who posted: I can’t wait to see/would love to see Robert describe how he feels/what he feels/how deeply he feels towards Aaron to someone else (that’s not Aaron). I wanna see how Robert is in that scene, what he says to that person, how he describes Aaron to that person and what Aaron means to him and how much he loves Aaron. And why it’s so different with Aaron than it is with Chrissie. Why he feels Chrissie isn’t enough for him, but with Aaron it’s something else entirely that he feels. That it really is //something different// this time.
> 
> Not sure I achieved all of that, but I hope you like it. And since I killed Diane in my last fic...

At the sound of the door from the front of the pub opening and closing softly, Robert lifts his head from his hands.

“Diane, I -”

“Tea,” she says, tersely. “Tea first. Then talk.”

She takes her time making the brew. She retrieves two matching cups from the top shelf while the water boils. She places two small spoons inside the cups along with the tea bags. Typoo, decaf. She gets out the sugar bowl and a spot of milk, not sure if Robert takes it.

All the while, Robert watches, looking guilty and miserable, threading his hands through his hair as he fights off the shock.

Diane slides Robert’s mug across the table, turning the handle so it fits easily into his palm.

“Sure you don’t have something stronger?”

Diane simply gives him a long, testing look, lips flattened into an unimpressed line.

“Right.” Robert pulls his tea closer, encircling the warm mug in both hands. “Diane, I am so sorry. I had no idea she would kick off like that.”

“She certainly knows how to clear my pub, doesn’t she?”

The scene had been impressive, even by Chrissie’s vase-shattering, red-faced screaming, pretend-fire-starting standards.

“She must have only just figured it out.” Robert’s eyes fall to his tea, going blank. “Maybe she saw us? Or heard me talking to him? We got too comfortable. Careless. After all that business with Cain, we - ”

“What business with Cain?” Diane interrupts his stream of thought monologue.

Robert looks at her as if he’d forgotten she was even there. “S’not important.”

Diane sets her tea aside and takes Robert’s hands in hers. After a moment, Robert forces himself to look at her, a massive crease between his brows.

“Robert, love. I know I’m not your mum. I’m not even Sarah. And I know you were gone for most of the time your father and I were together so we’re not as close as I am with Vic or Andy, or as much as I’d like to be,” she adds as Robert tries to pull away. “But I promised your father I’d look after the three of you lot. So please, pet. Tell me.”

Robert sighs, eyes falling closed.

“What on earth have you done?”

Robert slides his hands from hers, gently. He sits back in his chair, running his palms over the tops his legs.

“I don’t want anyone blaming Aaron, alright?” He says after a moment. “This was all me. I went after him. I wanted to keep it going. It wasn’t his fault.”

“So what Chrissie said in there, about Aaron, it’s true? You and him have been...” She lets her wide eyes and insinuating hands finish the sentence.

Robert bites back the urge to be crass. What would it gain him, really, aside from the momentary satisfaction of making Diane even more shocked than she already is?  
  
Robert swallows hard, taking a long breath that seems to barely pull any air into his lungs. “Yeah,” he says softly.

“I didn’t even know you fancied blokes.”

“No one does,” Robert says, grimly.

“Well, I’m afraid that’s quite that case anymore, pet.”

Robert rubs at forehead, sneaking a peak of Diane’s wry grin between his fingers.

“How long have you know this about yourself?”

“It was alway always about girls, wasn’t it, growing up? I liked being with women. Obviously. But even when I was young I can remember, the idea of doing those same things I was trying with girls with another bloke...Well, that felt rebellious. It felt dangerous. Wanting both women and men, it made me different and I liked it.” He stops to look at Diane, her face calm and unjudgemental. “I never acted on it, not until I left home. When I was traveling, I fell in with people that weren’t so uptight about that sort of thing. So I went for it - acted on what up until then had just been a thought in my mind. And, not surprisingly, I liked that too.” He feels himself blush red.

His sexuality is a touchy subject on the best of days, which today certainly is not. But with his whole life blown wide open and with Diane sitting there, so patient and understanding, Robert speaks candidly in a way he never has before.

“I’ve only ever had girlfriends. The blokes, they were always just a bit of fun on the side.”

“One offs then?” Robert nods. “So what changed with Aaron then?”

Robert shrugs. “I fell for him, didn’t I?”

Diane’s eyes swell with something akin to relief. She places her fingers over his wrist, urging him to continue.

“It wasn’t meant to start that way. I mean, I was marrying Chrissie. I loved her. Still do. And that’s not just some line. It’s just, it’s different with him.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.” He shifts in his chair, spreading his hands flat on the table. “I’m a more complete version of myself with him. No charades. No facade. He knows me and he’s been there for me in ways I don’t deserve. Sometimes, with Chrissie, I feel like it’s all an act. Like that whole house is some stage set and I’m just playing my part, but not very well. It’s about all the accessories - Lachlan and the disapproving father-in-law and the business and the money. It’s simple with Aaron - it’s just him and me.”

“And that’s enough then is it?”

“I love him, Diane,” Robert says as his voice breaks and the corners of his eyes begin to singe. “It has to be.”

Robert’s tea has gone cold by now, barely touched. Diane takes her empty cup along with his and puts them in the sink. She turns back to Robert, crossing her arms across her middle. She looks at him - her dead husband’s son. He’s caused a right lot of trouble since coming back into their lives, most of which she wishes she could forget.

But even so, she can’t help but feel intensely proud of him in this moment. Being open and unafraid of his feelings even in the face a public scene the villagers won’t stop talking about anytime soon. She’s been pulling pints at the Woolpack long enough to know what kind of story will keep their gobs going, and this one is it.

She wants to protect him, if she can.

“So what next?”

Robert stands, putting his hands into his trouser pockets. It’s only the way he’s standing, his body dragged down by the immensity of all that has happened, but his suit coat suddenly feels too big and too heavy on his shoulders.

“I’ll leave Chrissie. It’s clearly something I should have done a long time ago. Probably should have never married her in the first place,” he says, looking at his shoes. Then with a sharp breath he continues. “And I should probably go find Aaron, tell him how I feel. Though after what Chrissie pulled today, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s well done with me.”

“I think there is someone here who could answer that for you, pet?”

Diane nods her head, smiling softly at someone over his shoulder. Robert turns to see Aaron standing just behind the settee, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“Can we talk?” Aaron asks, sounding just as nervous as Robert feels.

“Yeah, that’d...that’d be good.”

With two uneasy but hopeful smiles, the two men make their way out of the sitting room. Off to Aaron’s room, out for a walk, or some place even more private - that is no longer Diane’s concern. But before Robert passes through the doorway, he turns. “Thanks,” he says simply.

“I’m here for you, Robert. Anytime. I hope you know that.”

Robert nods, a soft, innocent look on his face that lets her know now he does.

The door clicks closed and Diane turns to the sink, running the tap water hot to rinse the two cups clean, a smile on her lips.


End file.
